“Smoke detectors go off for a reason!”

Word to the wise:

Do NOT bring a firefighter to your house and then try to act all surprised when he discovers that you have ZERO smoke detectors on the second floor of your home.

And when he runs down the steps to see if you have smoke detectors on the downstairs floor, do NOT try to stop him by telling him “it’s fine, it’s fine!” because that will not stop him from looking. He will probably be astonished at the fact that you think it’s ok that your house might burn down and you could possibly sleep through it because he has discovered that there are ZERO smoke detectors installed in the entire house.

And when he asks you where all of your smoke detectors are, do NOT tell him “I don’t know” because he’ll go on a rampage through your closets that you meant to clean out last year but haven’t had the time (I keep telling myself I’ll do that one day soon) on a hunt for the smoke detectors that you apparently removed from the ceilings because they’re all now hiding in this closet.

And when he finds the smoke detectors shoved in the top of a closet without even a single battery nearby, do NOT tell him that you took the batteries out because they were annoying – going off every morning when you and your roommate were spraying hairspray and drying clothes and using the hairdryer, because he will tell you: “Smoke detectors go off for a reason!”  He will probably also want to tell you about all the house fires and injuries and deaths he has witnessed that could’ve been avoided with a properly working smoke detector, but he won’t tell you that because he’s still laughing at you over your complete and utter carelessness in regard to the safety of you and your roommates.

And when he offers to come over this weekend and install all the smoke detectors properly in your house so that you don’t die if your house ever caught on fire, do NOT tell him that if they start beeping incessantly at 6:30 in the morning again, batteries may be removed.

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Comments

  1. hahaha this sounds like that book “if you give a mouse a cookie.” i need to meet this guy who shares my love for fire safety (not joking- after a fireman came to our sorority last semester and scared us all out of our wits, my friend and i decided to become the fire safety chairs of our house in c-ville)! tell him about fallas and the statues burning in between apartment buildings- literally the biggest fire hazard of my life! have a great day meg 🙂

    • Oh, he would freak out over fallas and ask you to come live with me and be the fire safety chair for our house.

  2. 12sandyfeet says:

    How could a girl, so in charge of life, NOT have smoke detectors!?!?
    Shame on you Meg.
    How does he feel about carbon monoxide detectors, because THAT would not stop beeping in my garage so I took out the batteries too……. 😮

    • Yeah, my carbon monoxide detector beeps SOOOOOO loud every time I use hairspray because it thinks my house is going to explode from combustible gas. It’s sitting on my floor unplugged with the batteries sitting beside it. We had that conversation too. I was SO busted.

    • mom, i cant believe you’re putting us in such danger! I’m putting those back in when I get home.. 🙂

Trackbacks

  1. […] are the types of presents you get from a firefighter, after he discovers that none of your smoke alarms are currently installed, the ones you have in your closet have no batteries, and you don’t even own a fire […]

  2. […] N. was over last night after an impromptu movie night to see The Hunger Games (sooo good, and totally reading the books), and was asking my roommates about the lack of smoke detectors in the house.  Yes, he’s totally stuck on this smoke detector thing. […]

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